As I am Indian and live in a house full of other Indians I felt it was only necessary to do a blog post for fellow Indians (and anyone else that can relate) to show you that you are not alone in the tough times you may have experienced at home.
I’m not saying I don’t LOVE being of the Asian persuasion (because I do) it just has its weird moments. TRUST ME.
A grandma and/or grandad lives with you. They are the main accessory in any Indian household. The more generations the better.
Being questioned about your degree and generally what your life aspirations are by 73 different ‘aunties’ and ‘uncles’ (most of which you have no relation to and have been forced to refer to them as your relative.)
Mysterious foods in wrongly labelled containers in your fridge. You know what I mean, a shining Haagen Dazs tub reels you in, then when you open it, lets just say it’s NOT ice cream. It’s the furthest thing from ice cream EVER. Crushing dreams since 1992.
When your grandparents friends come over and shout “don’t you remember me???” in your face. No babe, I don’t, I was 2 when we met.
If you are a guest in an Indian household and are offered food or a drink, your answer is irrelevant. You WILL get a cup of tea and snacks shoved in your face and be stared at until you eat something. They will shower you with compliments “Your looking so thin!” or guilt trip you “I made these fresh…” just so you eat. Sly.
There is a cupboard or shelf in the kitchen with lots of jars containing every type of spice from every part of India. We keep most of ours in the kitchen cupboard however as these jars are so large, they have to be stored in the garage. Yep that’s right. Most people keep cars/garden stuff in their garage. But we have a spicy drug den.
There is normally a set day in the week when most of the cooking is done. Don’t venture in the kitchen that day unless you want to smell like onion for the next 24 hours.
One wardrobe in your house looks like this:
A draw with lots of empty containers. We have so many for 2 reasons:
- To store food, because Indian people love making food in mass. They really do.
- To pack food for any guests. You come to our house with nothing, and leave with dinner for the next 4 days.
The worst thing is, my mum like many others, labels the container with permanent markers. So when I go to use one for my lunch, I often rock up to work with my salad in a box labelled “LAMB MINCE” mmm.
Here is our container draw. Circular, square, rectangular – you name the shape we got it. #ContainerDons
Incense sticks, which my parents seem to use after cooking to get rid of the smell. So our kitchen goes from smelling like garlic to smelling like a temple. Interesting.
If your grandparents have an Indian accent they tend to make everything singular. Here are my grandma’s favourites:
- The Simpsons – “Simpson” or sometimes just “Yellow people” (is that racist?)
- Leeds – “Leed”
- Friends (the programme) – “Friend” just one lonely singular friend.
- Dishwasher – “Dishwash” because who needs the last two letters?
Zee TV. The home to some terrifyingly bad Indian sitcoms. Every scene includes slow motion and at least 37 different camera angles of one persons face. Oh and they almost always have a scary mother in law that is blackmailing/trying to kill someone. Such fun!
Thankfully my parents prefer BBC dramas to Zee TV.
That’s all for now – please don’t be scared to come to my house, its fun really (and there is lots of free food.) xxxxxx